An Ode to 39

How did it happen?
I don’t know
I thought I was supposed to have it all figured out before it arrived
I’m still trying to feel confident enough to wear that mini-skirt
My skin is still breaking
It couldn’t possibly have arrived that fast
Just the other day I had the courage to say what I was thinking
I still feel sad when people use me
Or choose not to have me in their lives
I have just started from scratch again, and I think this time it will be all right,
but I need more time
But I knew it was coming
My heart is all glued together
But my words are wiser, probably because I choose silence over words most times
That's wisdom
Tolerance started to disappear
Tears come way more often, but that’s ok
I had a good chunk of laughs before
It should have waited
I’m not ready
But it’s here
And it’s scary
But my hopes make me strong
So it’s ok
It will all be ok